And Just Like That…

IMG_5010And Just Like That…

Almost 6 months have passed since I last spent some time writing here. 6 months in which some days have dragged with mundane tasks and repetitive ritual, but where mostly time has flown and disappeared into that immeasurable black hole where time goes, never to be recaptured.

Time is always on my mind. The spending of time, the losing of time, time moving, time wasting and always, always the attempt to save and stop time, or at the very least, slow it down for just a moment or more…

So much has happened in these 6 months – children have grown, relationships have developed, books have been read, wine consumed (mostly in responsible quantities!), friends have been visited, jobs have been left and started, news has been received – both good and the not so very good, decisions have been made, fresh directions explored and new paths tentatively started upon…

The past 6 months have felt so hard and draining at times – politically and socially our world feels vulnerable and this is echoed in my own life where beloved family members have been unwell and challenging work places have made me question what the hell I am doing? Why? For whom? It feels more important than ever to make my own decisions and to make them count.

In another 6 months from now my Sweet Pea will be almost ready to start “big school” – the next big adventure in her life, and ours. She is so ready for this next step but me – well, maybe not so much! In one way I am so excited for her to take her next leap into a world of learning and friendship but in other, achingly painful ways I want to keep her close by – continue to nurture her and our relationship – this once quite tenuous and fragile bond that seems to only get stronger the more she grows and the more I let go of my (mostly) unrealistic ideas of what it means to be a mother. As I said to one friend not so long ago – it feels as though she is leaving just as I am beginning to quite like her!

So here’s to the next 6 months – let’s make the best of them!

1 Comment

1 Comment on And Just Like That…

  1. Tamara
    June 11, 2017 at 9:23 am (2 months ago)

    Wow, 6 months! I have missed your writing voice, its so authentic. I love this post because you have reflected on the reality of life, its ups and downs, and its unpredictability. It also seems that while you’ve been focused on the many changes in your family, work and community, you have in fact been constantly reflecting, even if its not here in the blog. We’ve talked alot about that over the years… reflection is just such a useful process.. keeps us honest with ourselves. May we hear more of you in the next 6 months, but may you continue to be where you need to be.

    Reply

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