I’m a doer from way back. I like to be in motion, in action, achieving, creating, thinking – anything that doesn’t involve simply being. I do not like to sit with my thoughts – or worse, sit without my thoughts!
So I knew when I chose my word for the year that it was going to be a big challenge for me. You see being mindful says to me “slow down”, “focus”, “be still”. All of those things that don’t come naturally to me.
A few years ago when I was working in a particularly stressful job it was suggested to me that I try yoga as a form of relaxation. Big mistake. Far from making me a blissed out bubble yoga made me want to kill someone – just for something active to do! (For those who might be worried about my murderous intentions be assured I didn’t actually want to kill someone). Needless to say, yoga was not the form of relaxation for me at that time – no offence to all those yogis out there – I know it is an incredible form of exercise and support for so many. It just didn’t feel right for me.
And so I pushed on – I took up Pilates which I did, and do, find a great form of exercise for me. And it does help me to relax and recharge – but I know it is not enough. I know (as I tell my clients on an almost daily basis) that I need to be able to sit with what is happening for me and around me – just sit, and take it in – I just need to be. I need to be mindful.
But by god that is bloody hard!!
I have used my Smiling Mind app a few times this year – but I know I need to make that a daily practice if this mindfulness thing is ever going to become a part of me as opposed to just a passing phase. I am becoming more aware of mindfulness in my life and trying to capture moments and hold on them rather than just rushing through – especially when it comes to time with my daughter. I am using photography as a way of slowing down and taking notice of the little things (my photography skills are shit but I enjoy it!). In short, I am trying. But I know it will take time to move from being a doer to a be-er!
How about you? Do you struggle with just being? What are your strategies for slowing down?