This post from Lauren really struck a chord with me – and a lot of other woman around the place. Lauren tells the “shocking” story of a mother with two boys who is now pregnant with her third child getting “the comments”. You know the ones telling her she should be hoping for a girl because heaven help her if she has three boys!!
What is it about a woman’s pregnant state (or lack thereof) that makes people think they can rain their thoughts, comments and judgements down upon her?
My situation is a little different to the woman in Lauren’s post. I don’t have two boys, or even one boy. And I am not pregnant with my third child, or my second. And I never plan to be. My partner and I decided long ago that we only wanted to have one child. And we have her. And she is awesome.
But apparently that isn’t good enough for some people. And by some people I mean family, friends, workmates, family of friends and even complete strangers. Some of the comments we have had flung in our general direction include:
“Oh you have to give her a playmate”.
” She’ll be so lonely”.
“You’re so selfish for only having one child”
“Really? You’ll change your mind”
“Well, you never know, accidents do happen”
and my personal favourite, “That’s just not normal”. I have no words.
No, actually I have a lot of fucking words!
To start with – it’s none of your fucking business!! The last time I looked only children were not listed as a risk factor in the child protection system!! We are not putting our child in mortal danger by not providing her with a sibling. It’s a choice we have made. A choice we are entitled to make. Why we have made it is not anyone’s business but our own. I’m happy to talk about that choice with people who truly want to listen but I will never justify it – and nor should I need to.
How about you? Have you had your personal choices questioned?